Jake stood at the large windows in his penthouse overlooking the city far below. Lights of the many buildings lit the night sky and shimmered like jewels reflected on the river that flowed through it. He saw none of it as he swirled the drink in his glass. He used to love the view, the excitement of city life, but it had long ago lost its allure in the dog eat dog world of high finance.
What do I really have to show for my life? Sure, I have wealth, this lovely home, if it can even be called that. I have a dozen cars parked in the garage below, any car to suit my mood at any given time. So what?
A slight noise behind him startled him out of his reverie. He turned to see his current girlfriend gliding toward him, sultry eyes fixed on him. “Jakey, what's wrong? Why so pensive tonight?” She touched his arm, sliding her long nail down toward his hand.
His eyes met hers and suddenly, without warning, they pooled with tears that soon coursed down his cheeks. What in the world is wrong with me? I better buck up or I'll be the butt of jokes for weeks on end. I know Samantha and she'll tell everyone in our circle about this.
Try as he might he could not stop the flow of tears.
“Jakey! What's wrong with you? You're scaring me!”
Yeah right. I know better than that. She just doesn't like things being out of the nomi. She doesn't care one wit about me. All she and the rest of them have ever wanted is my money!
“Uh, it's nothing Samantha. I think it's just a bad allergy attack.”
“Ooook. Welllll, I was hoping we could go out tonight. There's this swanky new restaurant I wanted to try.” she said with a pout.
“You go on without me. I'll be fine.” Jake managed to say with a modicum of control to his voice.
After a bit of back and forth conversation, he assured her he would be fine. As she sashayed out the door (did she know how to walk any other way?) the tears he'd managed to keep at bay began to fall once again.
I feel like I'm mourning. I haven't felt this way since the night Grandpa Bernie passed away when I was twenty-one. This is a stronger though, different...
Grandpa Bernie... his hero, confidant, friend. Something very precious shattered in Jake the night his grandpa died; he'd never been the same since. How could twenty years have passed already? Wait, is this the date he died? Jake looked at the calendar on his phone. It wasn't the date, but it was pretty close. I wonder if my thoughts before Samantha came in triggered those tears. Oh wow, I remember a verse Grandpa Bemie would quote to me all the time, at least part of it, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”
Jake fell to his knees in utter despair, crying for the lost years he saw marching in front of him. The pain of what he saw was excruciating. The women he'd used to get further on up the ladder of success, the wild parties, the friends he'd left behind so he could pursue the career ahead of him. Friends he had enjoyed growing up with in a rural farming community. Days of simply living flashed before his eyes... fishing in the various ponds, swimming in the creek, picking blackberries so his mom could make a pie. Why did I leave all that behind the day Grandpa Bemie died? Oh, how I hope it's not to late to turn my life back to the One whom he taught me so much about, from the Bible and his own life experiences.
I'm here, son, ready to welcome you back. It's never too late.
Jake lifted his eyes toward heaven, smiling, tears still running down his cheeks; now they were tears of joy and cleansing, knowing that the prayers Grandpa Bemie had certainly prayed for him were being answered this very night.
It's been a long time since I heard your sweet voice, Lord. Thank you for meeting me here tonight. May I walk from this day forward, no longer forfeiting my soul. This time of mourning over my sin is way overdue. Thank you for taking me now, just as I am, and making me into something new, once again.
Scripture reference: Mark 8:36 ESV