Murphy won the a million dollars in the Irish Sweepstakes and decided to take a long holiday to the United States.
After touring several states, he decided to take a bus tour of Texas and rode for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields.
Murphy asked the tour guide, 'Where are we now?' The guide replied, 'We’re still in the great state of Texas.'
'It’s a big place,' said Murphy.
The guide said, 'It’s so big that your County Kerry would fit into the smallest corner of it.'
And Murphy replied, 'Yes, and wouldn’t it do wonders for it!'
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper, as was his daily habit, and was dumfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!'
'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are you callin’ from?'