Time and energy squandered trying to find the way out of a place teeming with dangerous pitfalls is a high price to pay for going in the wrong direction. As I followed a popular and well-used trail, I was stupidly unaware that this main route might veer off into a maze of total bewilderment. I was not paying attention. Now I was stuck.
My uninformed choice was to wander through untamed territory full of sneaky snakes, creeping wolves, and other dangerous natural enemies. Since I was blissfully unaware of them, it was easy to pretend I would be fine.
Exhaustion from abandoning good sense to hunt for a viable exit finally forced me to take a break. My body was clamoring for rest, but I could not see anywhere safe enough to recapture my bearings before proceeding.
How could I function as normally and productively as the next person and not figure out why I was so lost? Then the drenching storms began.
Semi-consciousness had its way and I decided to lie very still in the increasing mud and muck while I waited for help. Many times I was sure I heard light footsteps approaching, but then advancing darkness would jerk me back to oblivion.
I came to, briefly, hungry and ready to continue back to the familiar old path. Once again, I was sure I heard a soft voice calling my name and warning me to tread carefully. I did the opposite of what was prudent and continued to march forward with no accurate compass, real food, or serious defense from enemies.
“Things work out,” I told myself. After falling in holes and running into mountains, I had to rephrase that to, “Uh-oh, but sometimes they don’t.”
That’s when fear reared its ugly head. “What if I die? Oh, Lord, help me! Where do I go?”
After crying as much as I could stand, again I heard that unmistakable quiet footfall as it came closer. The voice was beautifully soothing. Peaceful sleep fell over me like a warm blanket of love. It was time to consider a better way to travel through life.
I awoke in a private room in the hospital. My throat was sore from a diagnostic surgical procedure done to confirm an autoimmune disease that can affect the lungs. I ached all over and had a fever.
Outside my window, a tiny bird was very busy flying back and forth with materials to construct her nest in the building eaves. Her ability to concentrate on the project was fascinating. She never had to stop and ask for directions. God had hardwired that information into her whole being.
Although I worked in a busy hospital, it wasn’t this one. My doctor was concerned I would get no rest if he admitted me to my daily stomping grounds. Only a few knew where I was so there was plenty of quiet time to recoup, reconsider, and watch that sweet little mama bird at her amazing task.
Return to the fast-paced job that I dearly loved was short-lived. It was too painful and exhausting. I needed to take medical leave and get on with the business of pursuing good physical health.
I moved to a small apartment in a college town thirty miles away. With no television and not even a radio, I lugged home at least ten books a week from the charming library a few blocks down the street--an easy and uncomplicated drive. Reading and resting were my new duties.
Although un-churched, I had always considered myself a Christian, even attending a very strict faith-based nursing school that brooked no nonsense. Drinking, smoking, or drugs just seemed too stupid for words and did not interest me one bit. But guess what? Merely abstaining from such things is not a free pass to Heaven.
I thought I was saved simply because I agreed that Jesus had lived, died, and arose as payment for our sins. Scripture says even the demons know that. Knowing and surrendering to His Lordship are two entirely different things!
Weeks of insatiable reading everything I could find on prayer, faith, and walking in the right direction led me to a blessed new path.
Those quiet footsteps and constant gentle whispers in my metaphorical jungle of worldly guidelines were divine clues that The Savior had been right behind me all along. All I had to do was pay attention to the signs, stop running, and turn around. What took me so long?
True (including the busy bird) Psalm 25:4-5 (NIV) Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.