25 pearls of wisdom
--If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
--Age is a high price for maturity.
--Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
--Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you have never tried before.
--My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
--Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
--It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
--For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
--If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
--Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of checks.
--A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
--Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
--Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
--No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
--A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
--Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
--Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
--Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. --There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
--Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
--By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
--Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
--Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
--Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.