Pam and Charley were highschool sweethearts. They married after graduation, had their first child a year later, followed by twins before their first reached his second birthday.
Charley worked at a lumber yard and Pam stayed home with the children. Neither of them had faith. Both had come from a broken home. And money was tight. Life was hard.
Charley began coming home from work later and later at night, often obviously after spending too much time in the local bar. Pam began to indulge in the evening as well, telling herself, if Charley could do it, so could she. They began to fight loud and often. Sometimes things became physical, but Pam always shielded her babies, often taking the brunt of Charley’s rage herself.
Twelve years into their marriage, Charley told Pam he was leaving her for someone else. As tired as Pam was of the fighting, she was devastated. Since high school, she had dreamed of a happy family unlike the one of her childhood. She had never loved anyone except Charley, and despite everything, she felt like a lovesick 18 year old.
For the next ten plus years, Pam raised her children with very little help from their father. She found a job and always had a roof over their heads. She still definitely drank too much, but she loved her children and did her best to provide for them.
Charley’s second wife got tired of him pretty quickly, and he moved on to his third - the age difference between he and his bride increasing with each marriage. As the mother of his three children, Pam still occasionally saw Charley. She wanted to hate him, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. She still longed for his attention and occasionally even fantasized about a revival of their dead marriage. They were frenemies.
Pam only started going to church to stop a persistent friend from nagging her. But the more she went, the deeper the fact that God loved her sank into her hurting heart. One morning as she was opening a beer, she felt a strong conviction that maybe she shouldn’t be drinking at 11 in the morning. She stopped drinking that day, and shocked herself that she didn’t even want a drink that evening or the next morning. One year of sobriety later, Pam would tell others that God literally took the desire for a drink away from her; she had no other way to explain it.
Pam continued to grow in her faith. She joined a small group of women. She started serving at church and in her community. She spoke with her children of Jesus more and more. Charley laughed at her. She tried to pretend she didn’t care, but he still had the ability to hurt her. Somehow, he still had a hold on her heart.
When Charley got into a drunken car accident, and needed a long hospitalization followed by rehabilitation, he told everyone, ”Pammy will help me. Pammy will drive me to my appointments.” He gave Pam his most charming smile as he winked at her from his hospital bed, “When I get home, I’d love for you to bring me over some of your barbecued chicken. No one knows how to make it like you do.”
Pam felt used and abused again, but now she had a Father. She felt empowered by HIS love for her, and knew she deserved nothing less than respect. She began praying for a release from the hold Charley had on her heart. And just as so many years ago God had taken the desire for a drink away from Pam, He slowly but surely began to take away her desire for Charley’s approval. The revelation that she only needed God’s approval began to sink deep into her bones.
The more of her life Pam handed over to God, the more He blessed her. When she was 55 years old, she met a handsome Christian widow at church who grew to love her more than she thought humanly possible. He asked Pam to marry him. His family of four beautiful children and ten grandchildren welcomed her and her adult children with open arms.
Pam finally had the real family she had been dreaming about, and praying for, her entire life.